You know you are highly competitive. You need to win. You dont suffer fools. And you hate being challenged when you know you are probably right. After all you know best.
This is an instinct many people are born with or develop over time. Particularly in corporate life and public service. Either way, when fear of loss or challenge arises your instincts kick in. And over time those instincts get stronger. Your mind is progressively trained to look out for and to react to challenges. It is the core component of fight or flight syndrome. Learn about the physiology here.
Ultimately this major driver of anxiety (in all its forms and levels) leads to systemically high levels of anxiety and mood. You are primed and ready to ‘fly off the handle’. These are moods that often other people will classify you by. Often in unwelcome ways. Not something you want. But when the anxiety symptoms kick in maybe during a discussion or a meeting, people will see it and be inclined to either go on the defensive or elevate their attack on you or avoid you. You think its unfair that these people don’t understand. That however, is often the problem. They often (or usually even) don’t. Or they just play you. Especially if they themselves share your competitive nature or dislike of being challenged.
For your own wellbeing let alone that of the people around you, addressing this source of unwellness is important. It can often easily lead to further problems such as poor sleep. And with poor sleep, weight problems start to emerge. The science again is clear. Poor sleep and anxiety are related. As are overweight problems potentially caused by ignoring the need to keep the body balanced. Alcohol, over eating and competitive people have a strong link. You can read about that science here.
Of course you can try to avoid competition or challenge. Not very realistic in today’s world. Or you do yourself a big favour and train yourself (and yes this is not easy for highly competitive people or people that are born with or developed compulsive self belief in their own opinions ) to break the inevitable symptoms that lead to panic attacks, poor mood and / or full blown anxiety. However learning how to will improve performance and your connection chemistry. That in turn will feed a new way of interacting. Of course fight and flight has a role to play in seriously threatening situations. Beyond that though the syndrome is not advantageous.
If people wind you up consistently you need to understand why and communicate then address that problem. Often they are equally competitive. Often they too fear or dislike challenges. Sadly organisations often foster a spirit of competition ‘for the sake of it’ among their people totally oblivious to the health ( even wealth) detriments. Winning doesn’t mean damaging your wellbeing. There are many examples in public life of that syndrome.
Recognising and then breaking the anxiety symptom cycle is key if this feels like you. You can learn about the methods to that here.